We live in an immense Universe dancing with life, glittering stars, roaming galaxies, brilliant suns and mysterious moons. Everywhere people have looked up in amazement and awe, contemplating the beauty and seeming infinitude of the ever-expanding heavens. Our imaginations run wild, as well they should.  Beauty and mystery are everywhere.

Back on Earth again, we find ourselves surrounded by even more kinds of beauty, from sandy deserts to lush, green fields, savannahs, mountains oceans and forests. So, with such beauty everywhere, why all the strife, why all the stress?

Let’s put the idea of stress into component parts: physical, emotional/psychological, spiritual.

Turning the clock back to earlier times when Nature reigned, we were surrounded by beauty and by thousands of other species, some of which would probably have enjoyed having us for lunch. We were challenged, moment by moment, day by day.  We were—and are—also surrounded by other humans, perhaps our biggest stress challenge of all.  In other words, this thing we call “stress” is not just a function of modern life and urban living but an inherent part of living.

By exerting pressure, pulling, pushing, lifting, moving, these physically stressful movements are what keep us alive. In sum, physical stress is good for us and actually required for health and survival.  In short, physical stress makes us stronger.

Does the same hold true for emotional and psychological stress?  Yes and no.

We say that we “feel the weight of the world on our shoulders”, and depending on the situation, we may well truly feel that way. If we feel this way day by day, week by week or longer, we can then feel depressed. Our physical disposition becomes challenged.  Mind and body are not separate – most doctor’s visits are a result of emotional stress.

The idea of mind or spirit is foreign to mechanical thinking. Yet our own experience shows us that these are not separate. Think of a beautiful beach and one naturally smiles and breathes more deeply. If we examine the blood chemistry at that moment, we would see that adrenalin and cortisol are reduced. We would see ease and fluidity in cellular respiration and a cascade of endorphins and other “feel-good” chemicals in the circulatory and nervous systems.  Mind-body, mind-body.

Today, we have scientific studies that explicitly demonstrate this intimate relationship between mind and body.

Emotional stress has virtually everything to do with how we perceive reality. How we do this is through our particular and unique psychological lens, beginning formation as early as “fetal times”.  The fetus absorbs all auditory vibrations from the parents, which may be pleasant and harmonious, or unpleasant and dissonant.  The fetus either expands to welcome more good feeling/sensation or contracts to protect itself from “not good” feeling/sensation. Our lives begin a process of expansion and contraction in response to our environment, and later, to what’s going on inside our own minds.

Emotional stress then has everything to do with our perception.  If we perceive something to be threatening, we contract and protect or even hide, engaging the fight-flight-freeze response. When we perceive something to be good for us, fun, pleasurable, healthy, we open to it and expand, seeking more.

In many, if not most cases, emotional and psychological stress can weigh us down and cause immense stress. It can seriously compromise and degenerate our body because we are usually not resilient enough to ’reframe’ our experience in a positive light.  Instead, we tend to experience it in ‘victim mode’.  Why is this happening to me, why is my life so difficult?

Instead, just allow yourself to experience whatever it is – pain, upset or disappointment.  Allow these waves of energy and sensations to move through you. No judgment, no taking it personally. Observe as though you are watching a movie, you’re in it, aware but only bearing witness to it.  You know the film is going to come to an end, so be patient!

And then you’re positioned to go from reactive to proactive. Then reframe, find that silver-lining, connect with your deeper, more authentic self, and be ready for “mastery”.  Most visits to the doctor are a result of stress-induced illness, as mentioned earlier.  Because of the mind-body relationship, unmanaged stress can lead to serious illness.

The more capable we become at mastering our thoughts, the more resilient we are at increasingly adapting to life’s ever-changing demands. Having leverage over emotional stress can actually be the difference between health and illness, or even life and death.

Gaining mastery over your emotions by acknowledging them, experiencing them and then letting them go, is the cornerstone of maturity and wisdom.  You could say that it is the key to happiness and well-being.

Most of what we worry about, hasn’t happened and we end up living in the ‘what if’ space.  We need to realise and understand that it is mostly our thoughts about what we fear might happen, that cause our stress.

Defining and examining emotions is to see that they are initially a mindset, a view, which triggers the body into a certain kind of emotional behaviour. These emotions and feelings need to ‘move through’ the body, or risk getting stuck, leading to emotional imbalances.

Neuroscience has shown us that the daily experience of expressing gratitude has an astounding effect on healthy hormones being released, such as oxytocin, endorphins and the inhibition of the fight-flight-freeze chemicals. It empowers our body-mind to be strong, resilient and vital.

Express gratitude, breathe deeply and slowly, realise that most of your stress is related to what hasn’t happened and always see the glass as half full – never half empty.

Excerpts from Mitchell J. Rabin, M.A., L.AC. founder & CEO of A Better World Foundation.

My Purpose of Life workshop explains how and why we find ourselves in stress situations and teaches us how to extricate ourselves from this crippling condition.

The first three people who book for the workshop, quoting my blog, will receive a 15% discount.