There is general agreement among psychologists that no matter what level of happiness we are endowed with by nature, there are steps we can take to work with the “mind factor”, to enhance our feelings of happiness. This is because our moment-to-moment happiness is largely determined by our outlook, how we perceive our life, how satisfied we are with what we have.
What shapes our perceptions and level of satisfaction?
Our feelings of contentment are strongly influenced by our tendency to compare. No matter how much we earn, we tend to be dissatisfied with our income if our friends are earning more.
The Dalai Lama explains “Although it is possible to achieve happiness, happiness is not a simple thing. There are many factors – good health, material wealth, friends. All of these factors are a source of happiness, but in order for an individual to be able to fully utilise them towards the goal of enjoying a happy and fulfilled life, your state of mind is key. It is crucial. As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, no matter what external facilities or conditions you have, they will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. With a calmness of mind, it is possible to live a happy and joyful life, even if you lack some facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness”.
So, how can we achieve inner contentment? We can try and obtain everything that we think we want, but we are likely to want something that we can’t have. It is better to not attempt to acquire what we want but rather to want and appreciate what we have. Always see the glass as half full, never half empty.
Inner Worth
Working on one’s mental outlook and perception is a far more effective means of achieving happiness, than seeking it through external sources such as wealth and position. Another internal source of happiness, closely linked with an inner feeling of contentment, is a sense of self-worth.
If a person’s sense of self-worth is only material, as long as they maintain a level of wealth, they can sustain a sense of self-worth. But as soon as the fortune starts waning, the suffering begins. A person experiencing similar wealth, but with a kind and compassionate outlook, has another source of worth, a sense of dignity, another anchor and there is less chance of this person slipping into depression should their financial status change.
It is important to embrace life, rather than rejecting it, even when times are tough. This underlying sense of moving toward happiness can have a very profound effect; it makes us more receptive, more open to the joy of living.
The Path to Happiness
Once our basic needs for food, clothing and shelter, have been met, we don’t need more money, we don’t need greater success or fame, we don’t need the perfect body or the perfect mate – right now, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need in order to achieve complete happiness.
Mental Discipline
So the first step to happiness is learning. We have to learn how negative thoughts and emotions are harmful to us and how positive thoughts are beneficial. What we must also realise is that harmful thoughts not only damage us, but are harmful to society and the future of the universe. We must start changing our thought patterns, start learning to see the glass as half full, not half empty – in short, like learning a new language.
The happiness of our life is determined by the quality of our thoughts
In the words of the Dalai Lama, “If you maintain a feeling of compassion and loving kindness, then something automatically opens your inner door. You’ll find that all human beings are just like you, so you will be able to relate to them more easily. That gives you a spirit of friendship, then there is less need to hide things, and as a result, feelings of fear, self-doubt and insecurity are automatically dispelled.”
The systematic training of the mind – the cultivation of happiness, the genuine inner transformation by deliberately selecting and focusing on positive mental states and challenging negative mental states – is possible because of the very structure and function of the brain.
We are born with brains that are genetically hardwired with certain instinctual behaviour patterns; we are predisposed mentally, emotionally and physically to respond to our environment in ways that enable us to survive. But the wiring in our brains is not static, not irrevocably fixed. Our brains are adaptable. Neuroscientists have documented the fact that the brain can design new patterns in response to new input. Thus, the idea of training the mind for happiness becomes a very real possibility.
Ethical Discipline
The Dalai Lama states “When I speak of discipline, I’m referring to self-discipline, not discipline that is externally imposed on you by someone else. I think that ethical behaviour is another feature of the kind of discipline that leads to a happier existence. Changing how we perceive ourselves and our lives, through learning and understanding, can have a very real impact on how we interact with others and how we conduct our daily lives.”
The most important use of knowledge and education is to help us understand the importance of engaging in more wholesome actions and bringing about discipline within our minds. The proper utilisation of our intelligence and knowledge is to effect changes from within to develop a good heart.
(in the words of the Dalai Lama and Howard C Cutler and some of my own)
To be continued…..
