The fatal flaw in the “you complete me” belief in relationships, is that if you believe your partner has the power to complete you by doing what makes you happy, he or she has the power to render you incomplete, by withdrawing the behaviour that makes you feel happy.

While things are going well, you feel happy and fulfilled, but as soon as the relationship hits a snag, you can crash to the depths of despair and feel lonelier than ever. If receiving a phone call from your partner sends you to heaven, waiting and not receiving a call, sends you to hell. If you are “in love” with the way your partner looks, when the looks change, you fall “out of love”. If your partner’s declaration that you make his or her life worth living, leaves you feeling secure, the day he or she chooses to do something with friends rather than be with you, it will leave you feeling worthless.

If this is how you see yourself, searching for or needing someone to “complete” you, understand that you are associating with feelings of inadequacy.  Know instead, that you are completely whole as you are and do not need anybody to “complete” you. You have everything you need within yourself – it is time to start trusting and acknowledging this and to start learning to love yourself.

When you turn the power of your happiness over to someone, you hate them for being able to pull strings.  Why would you like – let alone love, someone who can make you miserable?  So, behind the soft whispers, anger simmers and erupts when you get rubbed up the wrong way.   The “love” you profess actually isn’t real love, it is a ‘special love’.  Your intention is to get something from that person that you believe you cannot give yourself.

Healing Special Love

The answer to special relationships is a holy relationship.  In a holy relationship, you do not see yourself as lacking and you do not bestow your partner with the power to save or damn.  You recognise that your source of happiness comes from within.  Your relationship is a vehicle to bring forward the best in both of you. The love you share, runs far deeper than romance, than sexual chemistry and personality preferences.

One way to cultivate a holy relationship is to release your insistence on the form you believe your partner’s behaviour should take and instead support him/her on the path of his/her choice.  The demand, that a partner stick with a certain form, is a sure sign of a special relationship.  Non-attachment to a form is a sign of a healthy, holy relationship.

You cannot control the behaviour of others and you cannot dictate the choices they make.  But you have total control over which aspects of them you are selecting to magnify in your experience.

If financial interactions are stressful for you, you are not seeing money clearly.  You are seeing your negative interpretation of money.  Money is a neutral thing and there is nothing inherently stressful about it.  The idea that “money is the root of all evil” is fabricated by the ego, which is infatuated with evil and its causes.  Money blesses you when you receive it and it blesses you and the recipient when you give it.  It is life-giving.  Fear, not money, is the root of all evil.

You cannot get yourself out of a relationship mess with the same mind-set that got you into it.  The holiest of all the spots on earth is where an ancient hatred has become a present love.

A formula for relief from pain – stop doing what hurts you and start doing what heals you.  It is only because you accept suffering, that it persists.  Pain is a result of denial or resistance to your natural self.  When you live from your divine nature, from your pure self, suffering will fall away.

Altars of Faith

All healing is faith healing.  We all have faith in something.  Just point your mind in the direction where your faith lives, and success will ensue.  Faith is more powerful than action because action is a tool of faith.  Action without faith is impotent.  When your actions are in harmony with your faith, you are in integrity with yourself and you will achieve your goal.

Perfect love casts out disease

Belief in love is the most effective faith, because God is love.  When you love sincerely, the power of the entire universe is behind you.  All disease is a denial of love, and all denial of love is fear.  Perfect love casts out disease.   The fear-based mind seeks power from the world, while the love-based mind brings power to the world.  The healing of the body proceeds from the healing of the mind, and the healing of the mind proceeds from the healing of the soul.

Your impeccable guide

Any answer is acceptable to the ego as long as it does not work.  A Course in Miracles tells us that we have an impeccable guide within us, qualified and available to answer all of our questions, and lead us to our cherished goals.  This guide is the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit is the part of your mind that remains connected to the Mind of God, even while another part of the mind is immersed in the illusion of separation.  We are all connected to Source and have never been left on our own.

The Course urges us to turn difficult situations over to the Holy Spirit’s care.  This requires humility and trust.  If you are hellbent on letting the ego run the show, you will attempt a multitude of solutions that don’t work and you will find endless reasons to justify your limits.  But if you value peace more than arrogance, and success more than struggle, you will turn to Higher Power for help and will be open to receiving it.  And it will come!

Just show me

“Please show me” is one of the most powerful prayers you can pray.  But you must be open to Spirit’s guidance, rather than telling God how to run the show.  Trust that God can and will do everything for you that you cannot do for yourself.

We construct our future by the consciousness we hold. 

When faced with any decision, imagine that you know already.  Your task is not to roam the earth seeking someone smarter than you to tell you what to do.  Your task is to dive into your heart and remember what you know.  The ultimate guru lives within you.

The Fire of Purpose

Choosing the path of ease does not mean that you get lazy, flee from challenges, or quit if the going gets tough.  It means that you ask Spirit to help you move beyond perceived obstacles.  Higher Power will provide the ways and means to achieve your goal without any stress on your part.  Work might be required but fear never is.  Hold your consciousness at the highest elevation and what is yours will know you.

You can shortcut years or lifetimes of hardship by accepting grace and letting ease be your guide.

Resistance

Much of the world’s activity is an attempt to escape from fear.  Indeed, it is our purpose to escape from fear.  But how you escape makes all the difference in whether you succeed or not.  You can push fear to the side by substituting one distraction for another, which of course is not escape at all.  Or you can escape into truth, which yields true freedom.

Many habits and addictions are forms of resistance, bunkers apparently safe from pain, but effectively keeping love away.  The first step to overcoming resistance is to recognise your resistant behaviour.   Inner peace is your strongest ally in any campaign to improve your life.

When you cultivate activities that truly bring you joy, you establish yourself in the domain of the soul.  Notice how good you feel when you tap into peace and let go of resistance.  Just keep doing what makes you feel best and what is less than best will gradually disappear from your experience.

The people, events and experiences that show up in your world are not random.  They are orchestrated by a Higher Power that loves you in ways you do not understand.  At every moment there is a hand extended to you, to you to lift you out of quicksand and onto higher ground.  Stop fighting life and let it love you.  Miracles are seeking you.  Now you must let them find you.

No Fear in the Now

All fear is of future events.  If you are established in the now, you cannot be afraid.  You can experience reality only now.  Since love is the only reality, the only time to find love is now.  Fear and drama are not required or helpful.  Trust and Connection to source are your best allies to navigate any situation.  Establish yourself in the now, and fear will lose its power over your life.

The Body as a Communication Device

A Course In Miracles tells that the only purpose of the body is to magnify the presence of love in the world.  When you are healthy and happy, your body reflects wellness characteristics.

Your body also shows you where you are in alignment with the flow of well-being and where you have stepped out of alignment.  Illness is an indication that there is a blockage in the current of life force.  By the time you experience an illness, the blockage has already occurred on a mental and emotional level.  Your body is not the cause of your mind and emotions; it is their effect.  Illness is a wake-up call to recognise where the flow has been obstructed and, more important, to discover what attitudinal and/or lifestyle changes are required to restore it.  When your body is in alignment with Spirit, universal law will keep you well.

When you shift the consciousness that brought about an illness, its cause is gone, along with its effects.

Understand the huge role the mind plays in determining your success and happiness and learn how to re-train your mind to bring about the peace and abundance that you seek.  My Workshop – Manifest Your Goals, will explain how to do this.  One-on-one classes as well as group classes are held – contact me for dates.